don't go out into the rain, you'll drown

My sister gave Sarah the Wicked soundtrack this weekend. I love it. I've listened to it several times and already have favorite songs. It's really beautiful and Kristin Chenowyth is one of my favorite Broadway singers. So as I'm looking up some things about the musical, I run across the ineveitable critics. A lot were positive. Of course they were, it's a fun show.

Some were down right idiots. Not because they don't like the musical. I perfectly understand people having different tastes. They could even say it's not to their taste giving no reasons and I'd be ok with that. It's the smug elitists who judge the entire work as bad because it's popular that drive me nuts. Just because a lot of people like it, it stinks.

Since when did "art" become defined as "something which only a very few can understand?" Who decides this anyway? Have you ever noticed that the more the general public deride certain inexplicable artistic efforts, the more the art critics scream about how good it is? How it perfectly sums up the artists total understanding of humanity and general detestation for civilzation as we know it at the same time? Smear paint on a beloved painting? art. Take photos that make most people cringe and sick to their stomachs? art. Play music that grinds in the ear drum? art.

if all Art has to be is something everyone hates, then Ross Geller is a music genius.

if Art can not be something that millions of people love than Starry Night is crap.

There are ways to judge music. Principals by which we judge visual pieces. Counting the seats sold in the theater and at the gallery has never been on the list.

I think the thing that bugs me the most about these elitists that apply their "everyone has to hate it" principle to Muscial Theater is that it completely disregards the entire history of musicals. Musicals evolved out of Vaudville. Yes, Vaudville, the entertainment for the masses. Musicals have historically been popular entertainment, loved by large numbers of the
American public. So to say a musical is bad simply because it sells seats just completely contradicts everything Broadway has ever represented. It boggles my mind.

Can we please start judging music and art by it's own merits and stop counting tickets? Can't it be ok for me as the average individual who hates wearing black and dislikes sticking my nose in the air to like something?

Go back to your Wagner. Leave my Broadway alone.

Two in a row

two days in a row I've done letter size layouts. I don't think I'm going to switch, but I'm enjoying the smaller format and the change of shape. I"ve got a few other ideas for layouts in the 8.5x11, so we'll see where I go. anyway, I had to scrap my red couch:

the "red" pulls out and has a huge journaling block on it. I don't feel like typing the whole thing. basically it says, I endured used furniture and I'm ecstatic to have this finally. I love it and I'm stinking proud I could buy it with my own money. the end. only it says it much more eloquently. I don't do eloquent at midnight ;)

short term memory problems

I keep thinking of things throughout my day that would make a good blog entry. Of course, five minutes later the idea is gone. You will all have to pretend then that this is a brilliant entry that really changed how you view life . . . . ok, never mind. for brilliancy in writing you can read Cathy Zeilke's short tretise on passion. I loved it. Or you can get some great ideas for creative inspiration from Keri Smith (the Live Out Loud author.)

my goal is to work on something creative everyday. I did it yesterday. a really simple layout of the lighthouse we visited on the WA coast. Our vacation album is 6x6 and my main album is 12x12, but I wanted to play with this design.

It's not an obsession. really.

I organize my favorites list in IE in folders and sub-folders. There came a point where it was too long and I couldn't find what I needed, so into folders it went. There's one for scrapbooking, one for photography, etc. The scrapbooking one also has several subfolders, like magazines. I like this system because it means I can find the link I need.

I told you all that so I could tell you this: my favorite blogs folder now has sub-folders. Yes folks, it has gone that far.

also in Bedlam news:
Libby has advanced enough in taste she can recognize sour milk. isn't it sad that I know that this is a milestone in babies lives and they can't always distinguish that sour milk is yucky? Wanna know what's even sadder? every single one of my kids have learned this one pretty early. says something about me doesn't it? please don't judge too harshly. There's no rotting food under the couch. ummmm. maybe. we cleaned out from under that late last week. anything under there shouldn't be rotting yet. ;)

Matt has been asking me to spell stuff lately. all the time. "how do you spell dog? how do you spell cup? How do you spell dinosaur? how do you spell discombobulated?" ok not really the last one but if I said that word to him he'd ask.

Rilla is asking me to spell stuff for her too. only she's trying to write the words.

Joshua has declared he will wear his jacket (the one from Aunt Cathy) until the snow flies. I hope he doesn't get too cold.

Sarah is willing to tell friends to stuff it when they are being jerks to her. good girl.

A decision:

this is what I'll be sending off to the printers:


This is what I printed on white photo grade cardstock and stuck in my purse:

thanks everone for your help and your comments. It really helped me come to a decision on this. The libby card will eventually get printed. but I'll start with the toes. :)

It's Like an Acid Trip I've never had

So I finally got to watch the new Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. I wanted to see it in the theaters but since it costs $60 to take the whole family out to a movie, we waited until it went to DVD. We got it from Netflix on Thursday and we watched it four times before we sent it back. I loved it. I knew I would, but it's nice to have those feelings confirmed.

first off, no I didnt' like the little addition of WW's dad into the story, although we had to laugh at their casting. Daddy is the ultimate bad guy. Not only was he Saruman the bad wizard in TLOR trilogy, he also played Count Dooku, the sith lord in the new Star Wars flicks. good choice. Only a man that evil would throw chocolate on a fire. However, the addtion of the dad just seemed a bit contrived, like they were coming up for motivation for WW to extend the end of the movie.

The music was so fun. Danny Elfman really let his hair down on this one and went back to his rock roots. The homage to himself that is Mike Teevee's song is cool and funny and very cleverly done. It great fun to hear Danny Elfman being fun and not just creepy. I love that the lyrics are the ones that Roald Dahl wrote, preserved in all their sick humor and unapologetic truth. It would have been so easy to slick them up and go too PC. Luckily, Tim Burton never worries about PC.

The visials are gorgeous, with their over saturated colors and swooping lines, the sets were like dream version of themselves. very beautiful. Very Tim Burton. I love Tim Burton visuals.

The movie wasn't just fun to look at. I liked the script too. for the most part, the small changes were fun (the puppet introduction) with one exception of the Dad storyline. They stuck to the book! I adore Roald Dahl's books. I love their quirkiness, their honesty, their off beat humor. I love that Tim Burton played all that up instead of trying to tone it down like they did in that travesty that is the 70's version.

Yes, I hated that one. I hated Gene Wilder, he's too serious, too mean, and not weird enough, he's just a bit off, not really weird. I hated the story changes they made. I hated the scripts. the changes. oh and the charlie in that one isn't meek, he's a dork. ok, so Jonny Depp's mediocre performance isn't deserving of awards but it's better than Gene Wilder's masacre of the character.

So coming from that, loving the book, loving Tim Burton's work, and Danny Elfman's soundtracks, is it any wonder that I loved this movie?

I am without a PEZ accessory!

It's so sad. I went to four stores last night and the only ones I found were Revenge of the Sith collectible ones for $14 a set. they weren't cute anyway so I passed. sigh. back to the old standby of telling knock knock jokes.

She's nobody's (fashion) slave

The other day I followed a link to Gymboree's new winter line, just out of curiosity. The stuff was very adorable. Sarah came and started looking over my shoulder and pointing out things she liked. Then I scrolled to the bottom and I had to laugh.

"You can buy underwear to match your clothes. How silly is that?"

"no sillier than putting words on the butt." says Sarah.

good girl.

Seeking Opinions

ok, I've finally decided it's time I took the plunge and ordered business cards. I've been playing with a couple designs. One is a two sided card, and one is single sided. please let me know what you think. do you like the wording? placement? are the photos working for you? can you read it? thanks!

version 1 the first image is the front the second image is the back:

version 2:

Finally, a camera accessory I can afford

I want one of these. How cool is that? I had the worst time getting a non cheesy smile out of the six year old client a few weeks ago and I have a four year old that tends to cheesy to shoot on Saturday. I think a fancy new hot shoe attatchment is just what I need to solve the problem.

Can I "go to the mattresses" now?

Lately, I've been hearing a lot of people say about magazine publishing "it's not personal, it's business." And I can't help thinking of Kathleen Kelly's (Meg Ryan) response to that phrase: What is that supposed to mean? I am so sick of that. All that means is that it wasn't personal to you. But it was personal to me. It's *personal* to a lot of people. And what's so wrong with being personal, anyway?

my work is very personal to me. It's my words, my photos, my children, my art, so I do take rejection of them personally. I know I should just think of it not as the magazine rejecting me but as the magazine choosing someone else. I can't do that yet. I haven't seperated myself that much from the process. So I sit through another round of layout requests with an empty mailbox and I start to question my taste. I love my pages. I love the designs. So if none of them are suitible for publishing, doesn't that mean that I haven't the slightest clue what "good" means? if I take this so hard, should I even be trying?

I dont' really need an answer. I guess like Kathleen Kelly I just want to send my cosmic question out into the void. "good night, dear void."

Photo a Day

You may have noticed my second blog over in my sidebar. I joined a challenge on 2 Peas called A Photo a Day. Which is basically what it sounds like. I take a photo and we all share our pictures. It's been fun. I'm feeling more creative with my photography and I'm actually taking more pictures. I'm seeing subjects everywhere. Love it.

I am also getting inspired to do things with my photos. I did this collage of Libby from the Friday photo:

Saturday, I printed up the collage so I could show a photography client. It was only 11 inches long, but I you get the idea of it. I ended up with an extra one (dumb printer) so this morning I cut the photos out if it and created this layout:

Love the POD challenge!

When Restaurant Owners Watch Too Much Trading Spaces

Steve: where's the salad bar?

Me: Over there behind the covered wagon.

Scholastic--The School Sanctioned Crack Dealer

We always make it a point to buy books at the school book sales. It supports the schools, the kids would hate us if we didn't, I get to feel like a good guy, hey, everybody wins!

Except of course, we had to go and choose too well at the last book fair. I bought Libby the adorable book Knuffle Bunny. Why, yes, it is as cute as it sounds. With fantastically clever lines like "And by the time they got home, her daddy was unhappy too." and my favorite, "well, she had no choice . . . . Trixie bawled. She went boneless." Adorable. Clever. Everything a good book is supposed to be. I was terrifically pleased with myself. Until Libby discovered it. I am now forced to sit and read Knuffle Bunny six times through at least once a day, preferably (for her) twice a day. Even six times is not enough. I must read more! more! Libby bawls. She goes boneless. I am tempted to hide a book . . . again.

Yes, I have hidden books. I am that kind of mother. There is only so much Very Hungry Caterpiller one woman can take before she goes certifiably insane. Unfortunately, I hid that book too late and that's why I now run Bedlam. If I don't hide Knuffle Bunny soon, Steve's going to have to find me a padded room. Luckily for Libby, the idea of a nice, quiet, padded room is very appealing.

btw, if you would like to join me in my padded room, there's a link to Knuffle Bunny in my new sidebar section "what we're reading." bring the chocolate when you come. I'm sure I'll have run out.

The Blog Archives meme

I usually don't do the blogging memes. I think I've done maybe two, but I ran across one recently that really sounded interesting so I had to try it.

go to your 23rd post and the 5th sentence in that post. Ponder this for meaning and hidden subtexts. I was all over this. how cool. I can get all deep and philosphical and show how deep and philosophical I've already been and not sound like I'm bragging! whoohoo! So off I go to count post and sentences and I find it: my twenty third post. Which, coincidentally enough, was the first blogging meme I ever did. cool huh? The fifth sentence of that entry reads . . . are you sure you are ready for my deep meaningful thoughts? are you? ok. I said:



"Thanks. "


LOL! yes. that's it. shows me doesn't it? I get all excited about it and then hit a brick wall. sigh. I did however find this little gem in the same post:

"9. Blogs. current adiction that is totally affecting my writing voice in case you couldn't tell. just be glad my current addiction isn't Jane Austen. "

I thought it was funny considering my recent entry where I had, in fact, been reading a lot of Jane Austen. (btw, give Mansfield Park a pass. yawn.) ok, maybe it's just funny to me. I'm giggling anyway. I'm glad you are just reading this, because in person, I would probably be getting some funny looks. I do take on the writing voice though of whatever I've been reading a lot of. I can't help it. I even think that way. What I've been reading just twists my thoughts into whatever sentence pattern the author of that book tends to favor. Sometimes it's fun. Sometimes it's annoying. What's really annoying is that I once got a C on a Genre paper because I couldn't call up the writing style of the literary critic I was supposed to be emulating in the paper.

BTW, if you are now trying to place the first paragraph of my post from this morning, I've been reading a lot of Douglas Adams.

oh and I'm supposed to be tagging someone with this. I think I won't, but if you do it, please leave me a link in the comments. I'd love to see it. I do hope you get a better sentence to play with though ;)

You say "budget" I say "huh?"

This weekend we bought a tub of cool whip for a pumpkin pie. I made the pie. It was good. This is all completely off topic but I wanted to point out the pie since I never, in fact, make pie. well almost never, which is how the pie in question here came into being.

The top of the cool whip had a contest advertised on it. Groceries for a Year! it proclaimed in bold colorful letters with a cutsy graphic of a grocery cart with generic food items in it. Pretty standard food item contest and graphic so it didnt' really register until I turned over the cardboard top. "A $10,000 value." yeah, $10,000 for one year of groceries. Are you kidding me? Who the heck spends $800 a month on gorceries? If I wanted to spend that I could go out to eat three times a week and eat steak the rest. It seems so excessive to me. I guess if I spent $800 a month I could afford to cook the stuff in the magazine recipes.

I once read Flylady make the assumtion that my food budget was the second largest expense in my budget. I guess food is expensive to a lot of people. It used to look too expensive to my husband until I sent him out to do the shopping. He did most of the grocery shopping for about six months before he stopped complaining about how much I spent. Oh, he didn't really complain. He just held his breath at me. Did a slight, almost not there head tilt and didn't say anything for about a minute.

So what are people spending on food? Are there a lot of people spending $800 on food for their average family of four or five? That just seems like so much to me. You could spend half as much a month, save the difference and pay for a week at Disneyland at the end of a year, and never once had your family feel like they didn't have enough to eat. I know I could spend less, of course I would get tired of spagetti, leg quarters, and potatoes, but I could spend about $100 less a month if we needed to. Right now I'm not feeling like we need to, but after that Disneyland comment I just wrote, I'm thinking I might need to cut back on some groceries. ;) I couldn't take everyone to disney after one year, but $1200 would sure pay for something fun.

Late Fall

I've enjoyed the warm weather we had all through October. Days up to 70 degrees. it was beautiful, just perfect for being outside. I'm not much of an outdoor person except in the fall and spring, so I always apreciate it when I get a few extra days to enjoy it.

There are drawbacks however. The leaves haven't fallen much yet. My kids keep wanting to make big leaf piles but there just wasn't enough on the ground to do it. Until yesterday when the leaves began falling in large groups. Today it's raining. Just when we get enough leaves to have fun, the fall rain starts so it's too wet to enjoy them. dang it. so much for fall photos. guess it's time to cave up in the house again.

The Crazy Season Has Begun

Halloween makes it official. the holidays are upon us. I should be making lists at this point. making decisions. but all I've got energy for this morning is avoiding the candy. Steve invited me to join him back on the diet today. I need to. so I'm back and I'm glad that my kids are mostly smart enough to hide their candy.

they had a good time last night. Matt did go as Darth Bubba. it was easier. I dressed Libby up as a scarecrow, a last minute costume that came out very cute. Sarah and Joshua were vampires. I was hoping for pretty ones but I let daddy run the face make up so they came out "scary." and once again I didn't get any good pictures. I'll try and post pictures later. In the meantime, you can enjoy the rows of doughnuts. That's from my mom's house where she made 144 doughnuts last night and gave out at least 100 of them. They look good don't they?

A Catherine by any other name . . .

Our children are named after people we know with their middle names. (First names mostly because we just liked them.) We chose carefully, but never thinking how accurately we could name a child until Marilla came along.

Marilla Catherine, after my older sister, is quite the girl. She's so tiny, that at five and a half she still wears a four slim. Pink is her favorite color. She loves anything feminine. She has been known to oooooh and aaaaaah at jewelry store displays and sigh in longing at department store makeup counters. She's chatty and fun and laughs easily. In short she's a fun girl and I couldn't be happier that she takes so much after my sister.

Until Tuesday. We had our first Parent Teacher Conference with her Kindergarten teacher. It seems that Rilla takes a bit too much after her Aunt Cathy. Rilla is bright and happy and a joy to have in class. She has a few too many friends though and has a difficult time paying attention because she's busy talking to them. All the time. She also doesn't pick up the toys when she's done with them.

so, Cathy, would you mind having a visit with your niece? I'm blaming this on you. Sure, I'm her mother, but it's your name. ;) please don't throw doughnuts at me on monday for this.

Another Bubba Quote:

while wandering around the house with his pajama bottoms on his head, with one leg pulled down over his face:

"I'm the ghost of laundry paaaaast! I'm the ghost of laundry paaaast! Give me a hug!"

Popari? Poparet? Poperit? big mess of smelly flower petals

lots of things going on in Bedlam today:

-My camera is back from the hospital! woohoo! I need only to go to Boise to get it. Unfortunately, this happy circumstance can not occur until Saturday.

-My new favorite Jane Austen novel is Persuasion. My frequent readings of Austen in this past week have affected my writing style greatly. I find myself too often influenced by the writings and speeches of others. gotta work on that.

-Libby has learned how to go down stairs and loves to practice this new skill. Heaven help me.

-I have three black capes to make for Halloween. Two vampires and one Darth Vadar. I still have no clue what to dress Libby as.

-my neck is stiff and I'm having a hard time sleeping. I think it's time to buy a new pillow and this time I'm going for something good. no more $5 cotton ball pillows. This time I'm buying goose down!

-Steve wrote his version of the blueberry pancake episoide in his blog, link to the right. It's so much more funny and insightful than mine. Everytime I think I've managed a well turned phrase or a deep thought, he goes and shows me what good writing really looks like. Love ya, babe. ;)

Regrouping

With my XT in the shop, I've had to go back to using my film camera. Surprisingly, this hasn't been such a bad thing. My film camera is an Elan 7e (also Canon) and I do love it, but it's different to work with.

The Elan wasn't my first SLR. That was a Konica FC-1. A heavy brick of a camera that required me to do everything. I had to think about each shot, carefully focus everything by hand, watch my meter and adjust my exposure myself. Every single frame was considered before I squeezed the shutter release. I had to think or I would get nothing. I had so many out of focus pictures because the kids would move at the last second or I would try to shoot too quickly. It drove me crazy and I begged my husband to help me find room in the budget for something better.

I researched for months. I went to camera stores and held different models. It was a tough choice and there was a moment where I almost went for the Nikon. But I wanted my Elan. I wanted the "e" that stood for eye control focus. It was auto focus, auto exposure and heck, with eye control focus, it had auto focus point too. I didn't have to stop and think quite as much. the camera was thinking for me. I still had to worry about the expense of the film and the developing though, so I still spent time considering each frame.

But after a couple of years, I wanted more again. When we got our tax return money, I talked my husband into letting me spend a good portion of it on a digital SLR. The Rebel XT. That baby was brand new. I was able to buy it five days before the offical release date. It wasn't even out yet and I had it in my hands! Bliss! Heaven! I could take as many shots as I needed to get what I wanted. I could fill up my memory card as fast as I could think of pictures and never have to worry about the cost. Delete at will became my mantra.

And my photography changed. I was a bit more creative, but mostly, I wasn't thinking as much. I began to hate my own work. It was ugly. Most of my pictures were worse than snapshots. I let the advantages of digital become my weakness. Because I could just delete the bad ones, I wasn't taking time to have good ones.

Recently, however, as I've taken up my Elan again, I am thinking about my pictures. I'm taking time to compose the frame, to really take a photograph instead of just snap a pic. I am happier when I'm actually doing the photography. that's not to say that I will sell the XT and just go back to film permenantly, the advantages of digital are too hard to pass up. I think that I will pull out my Elan a bit more often though. When I find myself just "snapping a pic" I will take a moment to breathe. Load a roll every now and then and use a format that makes me think about what I'm doing.

And every once in a while, I will feel nostalgia for my Konica, for the camera that made me do all the work myself and gave me some of my very best work in the bargain.

It's Like Blueberry Pancakes

Saturday at our house means pancakes. It's quick, it's easy, and my husband makes them. I sometimes miss the waffles on Saturdays that I grew up with but since Steve doesn't make waffles, I'm very happy with pancakes.

Yesterday, Joshua asked Steve if we had blueberries so we could have blueberry pancakes. Amazingly enough, we did. Joshua told everybody that daddy was making blueberry pancakes. The kids got all excited. Everybody told me about the pancakes. They were so excited to get something different. Except Matt who declared he did not like blueberries, so steve made some plain ones for him.

So we sit down at the table with our big pile of blueberry pancakes. About halfway through the meal we notice little, gooey purple balls on their plates. They had all been pulling the blueberries out or eating around them. And who else was doing this? why yes. Joshua. He declared he didnt' like blueberry pancakes.

Steve was very frustrated with them and has declared a new family catch phrase. All day anytime someone changed their minds about anything he said "Ah! blueberry pancakes!"

I was going to get all philsophical about this story, but it's like blueberry pancakes, I don't want to anymore. ;)

False Advertising . . . I hope.

My toddler (sniff!) is wearing a shirt today proclaiming her to be a "Princess in training." I bought this shirt. it's adorable hot pink with a puffy sleeve/long sleeve layered look. When I bought it, I didn't think much about the words. The capital P on Princess is apliqued plaid and the other letters look a bit Doodlebugish. In other words: it just looked cute and the price was right.

This morning, however, as I contemplate my "princess" in all her teething demon-child moodiness, I am struck by how right and wrong those words are at the same time. She is my baby and will always be. Always the last so I'll always treasure her little milestones with a deep, bittersweet nostalgia that wasn't there with my others. For them I cheered for their growing up. For her, I want to develop the first time machine so I never have to let go. And all this is to say, she'll most likely be spoiled. I hope not to completely ruin her or get my other kids thinking she's the favorite, but I'm thinking some spoiling is going to be going on. So, yeah, as the baby of the family, she's going to be a Princess.

But do I want a Princess? I'm not talking a Cinderella like princess, unbelieveably perfect, who is willing to scrub floors and make tea and invite to her wedding people that any other person would have drop kicked to the curb. When I hear "princess," I think of the modern incarnation of the spoiled girl who gets every whim fulfilled, with a mercurial temperment that parents conciously attempt to sooth by fullfulling all her wishes, being perpetual Fairy Godmothers and never parents. The Paris Hilton of Suberbia.

I'm not sure where I'm going with this (and my English teachers would have taken this opportunity to point out that free writes and first drafts are useful things) except to say, I want my girl to be a princess and not a Princess at the same time. I want her to feel loved and treasured but not that it's appropriate to throw a fit when Mommy won't buy the $40 t-shirt at Limited Too. It's a delicate balance. I don't know if I can swing it. I picture myself standing in the middle of a teeter totter like the 10 year old trying to be cool with the stepmother on one end and the fairy godmother on the other, trying desprately to be both and neither at the same time.

Finally! someone to make my decisions for me

So I found someone who could tell me what's for dinner. Her name is Leanne Ely and her website is Saving Dinner. I've been seeing her stuff promoted in my Fly Lady e-mails for over a year now. I have even tried a few of the sample menues and liked them somewhat. Recently however, I decided I needed to just use my Paypal money I had sitting around waiting for me to use and signed up with her "frugal" menu.

Ok, this woman really doesn't know a thing about being frugal. Basically, it's like her other menues only there's no fish or pork and instead of buying chicken breast you buy chicken thighs. (I don't. I buy the big bag of frozen breast instead.) oh and beans. gotta have beans to be frugal. so far I'm spending more than I do when I plan my own menu, about $15 a week more. It's not a lot and it is nice to have someone else tell me what to cook, but I'm not sold on this yet. I'm not sure how well I like her meals. She wanted me to make beef stew but without potatoes. who makes stew without potatoes? (I put them in anyway.) She's also a bit too fond of spinach and her stir fries are not even close to authentic. all in all, they aren't bad. They taste all right and the kids are adjusting to the "weird" food. That's what they call it anyway.

If you are wanting to try this menu mailer thing, I highly suggest you try the sample menus. She's got a new set every quarter and you can try a sample menu from each of her mailing lists just to be sure you get the one you want and that you actually like the system.

The Trials and Tribulations of a SAHM

So I'm trying to start a book club. I'm asking women at church which means I'll probably be subjected to a lot of mediocre Deseret Book titles. (hey, they think Work and the Glory is the best book ever! and while I enjoyed the series, it is not in any way great writing. Come on, I dare you to count "it hit him hard" phrases next time you read it. It'll drive you nuts.) I'm ready to enjoy their book choices because I want the fun and the social aspect of the group. Part of having a book group is reading other people's choices and making them read yours.

Anyway, the first couple of women I asked, I chose very carefully. they seemed to have simmilar intrests to me. They were at the library with their children for reading hour. I figured they must like reading. Their response? "Oh, I don't have time to read!" huh. ok. I've got five kids and suddenly I feel three inches tall because I do take the time to read.

And it is taking the time. You choose what you do with your time. If you choose to have sparkling baseboards, that's your choice. If you choose to watch tv, or sew, or scrapbook, or whatever, that's your choice, and the big part is you can always choose something else. It's so easy to get wrapped up in my current life and how I do things, so easy to forget that I can change my schedule anytime I need to. Some things are set, like school schedules, piano lessons and church, but most of my life is very fluid. I can choose what I do and change my choice when I want something else.

I have found other women who are interested in a book group. A couple of them sounded excited about the idea. I'm excited too.

Pandora's Box is now lying empty

Link has been editted. it actually works now.

There is no hope for mankind if these fashions become mainstream. Explore the horror that is the fashion shows of Dior and Jacobs. I realize that the runway crap is not what women wear, but the shapes and details often translate from runway to street. I truly hope and pray for the sake of all mankind that these clothes die the quiet pathetic death they so deserve so we may move on to clothes that actually look good.

(and did you see Jacobs breaking the cardinal law of baggy clothes and putting baggy on top and bottom? ack! give those women cardboard signs and send them to Salvation Army!)

Negligent contract workers

that tooth fairy. She never remembers to come to our house. Poor Sarah had two teeth pulled on Wednesday and would you believe that the tooth fairy has yet to make an appearance? sheesh. I guess this is what you get when you pay your workers in teeth.

Something To Say

I'm looking. having a hard time finding it. We have a pretty routine life and there's not a lot to say about it at this point. Everybody is coming home from the Memory Trends show and I'm a bit jealous. I want to go to one of those shows. I want to meet people and have fun and see my pages posted in a booth. Stand in a booth and promote a product I love. Unfortunately, in order to get there, you first have to get a job on a manufacturer's DT and I seem to not be appealing enough as a designer for that. I gave up on keeping my pages "fresh" for submitting to mags and I'm updating my gallery at 2ps. it was so out of date that I had pages I posted four years ago on the first page. Really not a good promotional tool with the Paperkins peeking out of the thumbnail, lol. Just for fun, here's the last one I posted:

Marketing why?

I bought a big box of goldfish crackers for the kids. They love them and I don't buy them a lot so I caved. But only because it was a great big carton and at a good price. It had nothing to do with the little bubble that said "FREE Finn Figurine INSIDE!"

I found my FREE figuring and I'm left scratching my head. what the heck does one do with a three inch plastic goldfish cracker?

and yes, Sharyn, it's another slow day in Bedlam ;)

It's petty but it needs to be said

and I don't have the guts to tell it to the person who needs to hear it. For five years I have been getting announcement papers from the elementary school. Every single one of them sets my teeth grinding. How can a secretary who works at a school not know the proper use of quote marks?! She uses them to emphasize things. Your fundraiser money must be turned in "tomorrow." So it's a pretend tomorrow? only we call it tomorrow, she calls it something else? We also have fake "permision slips," lunch "charges," and, unfortunately, "children." Everything is "important" and must be brought to our "attention."

arghhhhh!!! do the principal and teachers not read these things??? has no one told this woman that she's an idiot? really????? I swear I'm going to go into the office and show that woman how to use bold and italics as a Christmas "present."

Pottery Barn's True Nature Revealed

Did you ever read your brother's Mad Magazines? (or your own if you happened to buy them) Remember the last page? the inside back cover? how it would have that one picture that if you folded it right would reveal the punch line of a joke?

Ok, now take your lovely new fall edition of the Pottery Barn catalog and carefully make a mountain fold right before the R in Barn. Now bring that mountain fold over just to the right of the O in Pottery.

And the truth is revealed:
But you just read it for the articles, right?

Teaching a Lazy Dog New Tricks

I'm not very good at the cleaning thing. When I had one baby and my dh was gone sixteen hours a day, I was perfect at it. Even my bedroom closet stayed spotless. Now that I have five kids and a house that doesn't have quite enough room, I'm terrible. There's always something that should be done around here. The bad part is I'm essentially a lazy person. I've read all the Flylady lit and, believe me, perfectionism is not my problem. I'm not avoiding it because I can't do it "right." I'm avoiding housework because I just plain don't want to do it. Her idea of only focusing on one room at a time really doesn't work for seven people living in a 1400 sq ft house.

However, I do like her 15 minutes at a time philosophy and I have adapted it to my own cleaning routine. starting this morning actually. 15 minutes in four rooms a day, the three main rooms and alternating days for my bedroom and the bathroom. I think if I can keep this up I can get to the point where I'm cleaning baseboards and walls and getting down cobwebs to fill my 15 minutes. That's my hope anyway. ;)

btw, this post is just to put it out there to the world what I'm doing so I can hold myself more responsible. That whole writing down your goals thing, you know. anyway. here's to a clean house and lots of time to read at the same time ;)

Linguistic Influences and the Leveling of American Dialect

What's up, Dawg?! Word. I watched a movie about a high school basketball team. Baby, that was good. They burned it up. They got it togeth-a, man. Word. I can't stop thinking like this. Man, this is trash, dawg. Need me some of that Meg Ryan. She's got it, baby. You know dat. Gotta get this crap out a my he-ahd.

Word.

Out of the mouths of babes

Matt, counting fingers: One, two, three, four, five . . . hey! I don't have enough!

Playing Dress-up

Recently, as my sweetie was planning the house concerts, I realized that I had no dressy shirts. Ok, I had one but I had to wear a safety pin to keep the front from gapping. My dress up wardrobe was seriously lacking. This comes from spending the clothing budget on the kids (and paper, but we won't go there.) Really, it's not that big a deal that I wouldn't have had a dressy shirt to wear. I have some t-shirts that look ok on me and most people around here don't dress up for stuff much anyway. I wouldn't have stood out or anything, but every once in a while even a casual girl wants to be mistaken for high maintenance.

I made myself a new shirt. khaki stretch poplin with a white collar and white french cuffs on a 3/4 length sleeve. It looks great on me. (yes, I said "made" and "looks great." My mother is a seamstress. I know what I'm doing ( ; ) I painted my toe nails red and even wore flippy sandals with a bitty one inch heel. (in khaki to match the shirt.) btw, there is no point to painting toe nails anything other than red. I spent extra time on my make up and hair. Things I normally spend five minutes doing.

I looked good. And even if no one else thought it, I felt like a high maintenance girl just for one evening.

My Bad Week Got Worse

Last week was tough. On Wednesday I watched 24 happy people post about how they loved pink. I wanted to love pink. :( Cactus Pink passed me over. On Thursday we tried to pick apples but the orchard we chose had not sprayed this year and the apples weren't worth the time. Since we were supposed to be having a big apple cider making party, we had less than 24 hours to find an alternative. Bright spot in the week was finding a good orchard. The apples make good cider btw. On Saturday I was passed over for another dt and our cider making party got rained on. we went ahead with it and moved it into the carport. My brilliant idea for making the pulp did not work so hot.
Friday was the biggie though. The worst thing that happened in the month of September. My camera died. (steve says it's only mostly dead.) We were using it one minute and the next it wouldn't turn on again. just nothing. Tried charging the battery twice, changed out the CF card, took out the CF card completely, cried over it, nothing helped. Last night we drove to Boise so I could drop it off at the camera store so they could send it in for repairs. It is still under warranty since it's barely over six months old, but I still keep having aweful thoughts that they will find some stupid nit picky reason why they can void the warranty so I get stuck with the bill. Yes, I borrow trouble sometimes. in the meantime, I am without my camera for at least three weeks, maybe longer.

at least I never got rid of my film camera. it will be weird going back to it though.

confession

I think I'm a closet modernist. My whole life I've been thinking of myself as a traditionalist. I love big ol' victorian houses, adorable bungaloes, old buildings. Then one day I wake up and discover I love Frank Gehry's work. His curves are so fabulous. The next thing I know I'm admiring big rectangle windows, stainless steel bars snaking across orange, curvy graphic chairs. It's almost scary. I secretly go to Design*Sponge and drool at her links.

It all started when I was looking for fresh inspiration for my scrapbooking. I started looking in modern architecture and now I can't stop. I'm seriously contemplating a subscription to Dwell. Just for scrapbooking inspiration. really.

Sisters Love

just messing with that doodling fad that has come over from the art journal craze. I feel like it needs something else. I suppose if I were just going to give in completely, I ought to have Prima flowers on there somewhere. LOL!

It's Official

I no longer have a baby. I have a toddler instead. I just watched her walk away from me, her little knees picking up and her feet stepping like she was walking across a movie theater floor, pulling them out of stickiness. She's speeding up. She no longer pauses between steps readjusting her equilibrium--she just goes. It's not running yet, but I think she'll be doing that very soon. When she falls, she just stands back up. It was just two weeks ago today that she learned how to stand in the middle of the floor for the first time.

She's still chubby and adorable and babbling. she still nurses and wears diapers. But she's not a baby anymore.

Happy

I've been grumpy lately. Can't say it's "that time" because I haven't had a "that time" for 21 months (and that makes me happy.) so my sweet husband brought me home a present this evening. You are free to be as jealous as you like. For informational purposes the chocolates are from Fawn's Fudge Factory (Home of the Cow Pie and Roll in the Hay ;) ) truly at least as good as See's.

Warning: Gushiness to Follow

I married a dreamer. He calls himself an "idea man." And he has ideas. Unfortuanately, they are always million dollar ideas, as in it would take a million dollars to make work. Needless to say, we have to let them go and nothing ever happens with them.

About a year ago though, he had an idea that wouldn't cost us anything. It would just take a lot of work to make happen. So he started planning. He worked out the details. Then he started making it happen this summer. He has worked very hard and smoothed out a lot of bumps, and tonight his dream is going to happen.

Cherie Call will be playing a house concert this evening. She is a Deseret Book recording artist from SLC and a fabulous musician. She'll perform this evening in one home and then tomorrow in another. Bascially, a house concert is what it sounds like. A musician comes into a home and puts on a small concert. Someone has to be host and invites friends and family to come listen and everyone pays a small donation to the artist to pay their expenses and time. It's a pretty cool idea and I'm very much looking forward to the concerts.

Steve is hoping that these two house concerts can steamroll into a series of concerts in our area hosted by different people and featuring many different artists, known and unknown. I think he can make it happen.

I'm proud of you, Steve.

They Finally Got Me

I have never been very tempted by the Swiffer. The idea of a broom that I couldn't use unless I bought particular dust cloths really repelled me. I could just see myself doing cost per use averaging, "it cost me 50 cents to sweep my floor today. I had better just skip it tomorrow." I'd be pulling out the old broom and letting the swiffer sit. Because a swiffer doesn't just cost $20 the first time you buy it, it cost something every single time you use it. It's really a slam dunk product for the company. Once they get you to buy the broom, you're hooked and they will get money from you as long as you use the product.

Of course, then they had to come out with fancy new products in the swiffer line. I thought the deep ridges clothes were kind of cool. Sadly, those are the kind that I would have to use in this house, what with the dirt from seven feet and the dog hair. The Swiffer Jet is pretty cool too. A mop without a bucket is always a handy thing. It intrigued me, but never really temped me. I have a mop that is basically free to use sitting in my closet right now. I paid $5 for it two years ago and cost per use is sitting under a penny.

Oh but then Swiffer had to come out with that stupid vaccuum. And about the same time I got an area rug in my living room. Right now I have to get out the broom and vaccuum every day to keep my livingroom floor clean. Besides the fact that my full sized vaccuum is hard on my woven rug, it's akward and a pain to break out every day. Now that Swiffer vaccuum thing would be perfect. I could dust mop the floor and vaccuum the rug with one shiney new, lightweight pretty toy. It would be easy. I would do it every day. My floors would be pretty and shiney and the Millenium would be ushered in.

See, I need me one of those vaccuum things. Oh and while you're buying me one, could you pick up one of those Mr. Clean mop thingys so I can mop the floor around my toilet without having to get down on my knees? thanks.

More Bubba Stories

This morning Matt found a flashlight. It's one of those big ones with lots of light. He's turned off all the lights he can reach so he can play with it better. He said to me, "turn off the light, so I pretend my hand is a duck."

so I turned off the light and he set the flashlight down and ran right over to the wall. With his little hand an inch away he brings his fingers and thumb together "quack, quack." then he giggles and runs off to turn off all the other lights.

Just Sharing

my favorite layout of the moment (click to make it bigger):

Yes, I'm going to discuss the red couch again

When we were at the furniture store buying the Red Couch, there was another couch there that tempted me. It was sleek and low, with blocky lines and Italian leather. It was red too but a more orangy red and not quite so bright. It was trendy and modern looking. It looked hip and cool. It was also $300 more than the couch we bought.

I was having a hard time deciding between the two couches. Steve was so cool. He just said, "get what makes you happy." And I almost bought the leather couch. The hip one, because I wanted to be hip and cool.

As I stood there in the middle of the store contemplating both couches, I said to Steve, "The canvas couch is more who we really are but the leather couch is more what I wish I was." and that sweet man just said "well then get the leather, because you should never let anything hold you back from what you want to be."

But we came home with a canvas couch with big fluffy cushions and soft lines anyway. it's a casual couch. a fun couch. a cuddling couch. And you know what? I don't miss that leather couch. I love my big, comfy couch. It's so nice to curl up in. It fits with my life and with what I need a couch to be. What I need myself to be.

Because sometimes, what you wish you were isn't really right. I am a jeans and t-shirt sort of person. I'm very casual and a home body no matter how much I picture myself in a sleek house with dinner parties. It wouldn't be me and I wouldn't be comfortable there.

It's hard to get comfortable with yourself and accept who you are. I'm learning. I never thought I would learn something from a couch though ;)

Pretending

last night at dinner Matty pulled the neck of his shirt up over his nose: "I'm a Boobah!"

he's a crazy one. He also likes going around saying listen to this and then breathing heavy or saying "Luke I am your father" in the deepest voice he can wrangle out of his throat.

His daddy found a Darth Vadar mask at Wally's. guess what Matt's going to be for Halloween? ;) Steve's trying to talk me into letting him be "Darth Bubba" which would involve the mask paired with plaid flannel and overalls.

The Reason God Invented Valium

After two sessions and 4 dozen frames, we finally have the annual family photo. the one that was supposed to be done back in July. I have learned that I really need to get a remote for my camera before next year. I have also decided that I need to be able to take photos in burst mode on my timer. oh, and that I need a magic power that lets me freeze them all in place so they stop turning their heads right before the shutter snaps.

They ran around and Matt was upset that we wouldn't let him wear a hat in the picture. Then he found a big rock and dubbed it his nose rock and of course, he wanted his picture taken with it . . . up by his nose. Marilla kept trying to shield her eyes and since this little trick was what ruined the last set of pictures (that and the fact that she was wearing a dress and didn't sit like she was wearing a dress) we jumped in to nip that in the bud.

pictures were taken and then they got to explore. We went up to the hill that's a block from our house. It's a fun place for the kids to run around and look at stuff. they threw rocks and scuffed their feet in the dirt and generally acted like wild hooligans, in other words, they acted pretty normally.

Here's the result, one picture out of 48 tries:

Pondering Life's Great Mysteries

Why is the difference between too hot and too cold on shower faucets always less than 1 milimeter's movement on the knob?

Why is it when you don't need something you can name exactly where it is and in the case of pens or cotton balls, have excess amounts that fall on your head when you look in cupboards for that thing you need right then that until the moment you needed it you knew where it was but now that you need it not a one can be found?

Why is it the clothing industry thinks that if you have size 18 hips you must be 7 feet tall?

Why is it children will be having a roaring game of race or tag inside but the moment you send them outside the game is over and they suddenly become bored?

Why is it so easy to fall asleep on the couch when you are tired but when you get up and take yourself to bed you lay awake for an hour trying to fall asleep?

And the big question of the day:
Why is it that even though I have known for a month that I would be teaching a lesson today at church I put off preparing that same lesson until the last minute?

Evil Mommy

last thursday I cleaned my children's rooms for them. While they were at school and couldn't watch me do it. They thought I was being nice. They thanked me and everything. Gave me hugs. smiled. If I could do an evil laugh it would fit in here right about now. tsk, tsk. they just don't know. They have not yet learned that the last thing any child should want is for Mother to clean their room.

Because you know I tossed. A full garbage bag for each bedroom. Toys have disappeared from the shelves, paper work from school that was being saved for who knows what reason have melted in ether. Puzzles missing pieces vaporized. ah yes. Mom cleaned, hoping all the while that the hard work was actually going to get her somewhere, that the rooms would in fact stay clean and be easier for the kids to clean.

But that's the big joke. It does not, in fact, work like that at all. Somehow, their rooms look exactly the same as they did before I put all that work into them. So, really, the last thing any mother should want is to clean their kids rooms for them. Someone had to learn a lesson from all this, I suppose.

And She's Off!

Rilla is reading. Really reading. I think it's clicking for her. I knew she was getting very close to being able, so I checked out a Dick and Jane book from the library. I love Dick and Jane for early reading. The often repeated words are great for helping her have success and early recognition of high frequency words. The stories only introduce one or two new words each time, so she gets more confident the more she reads the book.

We have been reading Dick and Jane together two nights now. After I'm done helping her, she goes on to read some by herself. It's so cute to listen to her as she reads words she knows and carefully sounds out the ones she doesn't. Sometimes she does a wild guess but we slow down and I encourage her to sound out each letter to be sure she gets the word right.

I love that she is reading now. I love that she wants to read. I hope that she develops the same love for books that the rest of us have.

How Amy Got Her Groove Back or Creative Blocks Suck

So I mentioned that I had scrappers block for two months. It was horrible. I avoided my desk completely. But I have broken through it and I don't see it ever happening to me again like that. why? because I've given myself permission to scrap how I want to scrap.

I know, I know, not a big deal right? You just do what you like and heck to everyone else, there's no wrong way and all that. However, this new way is totally backwards from how I had been scrappping, so it wasn't just a matter of deciding it was ok, it was a matter of discovering what worked.

Anyway, a few months ago as I was doing my pages for the Power Team contest, (the evil, evil contest! sorry Jyl) I had an epiphany about inspiration. I had been trying to see layouts in art work and advertising because, well, that's the fashionable way to get inspired these days. It wasn't working for me so well. One day I was thinking about how I had really wanted to be an architect in high school and how I still really loved to look at buildings and then it hit me. I could use architecture as my inspiration.

It worked. I picked up a copy of Architecture Digest and read through it with a sketch pad next to me. I had page layouts flying through my head. it was amazing. I was getting ideas just from my other ideas. I sketched out everything I thought of whether it would make a good page or not. And then I started translating them into pages and that's where I hit a snag.

See, I just went digital in march. I was still used to having a stack of 4x6 photos to scrap. 4x6 photos that I carefully composed and seldom wanted to crop in any way. So all my layouts had to be based on that size of photos, but my sketches weren't like that. my creative side was arguing with my scrooge side (which is pretty dominate since I've given it free reign over the years.) Creative said I needed to be printing out the pics myself in the sizes I needed. Scrooge said it was too expensive and I needed to be ordering pics online at 12 cents each.

As soon as I gave Scrooge the boot, my mojo came back. It's been fabulous liking what I'm doing again. even the pages that I can honestly say are not my best work, I still like. They are ok and that's fine. I'm enjoying the process again. It's fun to start with the design and not the photos. I flip through my sketch book looking for a design that speaks to me, one that I would love to create at that moment. Then I go find pictures that fit, edit and print them up, and I scrap. And I like the results.

when all is said and done, that's the miracle: that I like scrapbooking again. It's a great feeling.

List for the day

I'm listing out my to do's because I know it won't happen unless I do:

1. clean house
2. make children help clean house
3. try not to let #2 drive me to insanity

see, not a long list.

call me crazy

I don't know if any of you remember how I was after I lost the Power Team contest. I couldn't scrap for two months. i was thinking of changing my hobby. it lost all it's fun for me. I swore I would never do that to myself again.

which is why I think I'm nuts for appying for another design team. This one is a new product manufacturer. Scuttlebutt says they have worked in the scrapbook industry and have designed some really cute product. I like the terms of agreement for the DT. cash for pages is my way of thinking ;) so, just for the heck of it, I'm going to go for it. I also hope I can do this without getting too worked up and emotionally involved. I guess this is my test for taking myself a bit less seriously, a test to see if I can persue higher levels in the industry as a page designer without losing myself in it.

It will be interesting.

The Unexpected Is Always Expected

this is what I found in my sugar bowl last week. It's a toy compass. It doesn't work. It does, however, fit inside the sugar bowl and that's the only explanation I have for why it's there. Because it fits . . . .

In all senses of the word. This is Bedlam after all.

I guess I'm shallow

I don't get network televison. we would have to buy cable or satilite and I can't see spending that much so our kids can zone out in front of Spongebob. So we basically arent' getting much news lately. and I like it that way! I like not having to see the networks revisit the same horror stories over and over. I like not knowing how low human beings can sink when they are desperate. I like not seeing the images flash across my screen.

I don't like being emotional. I don't like crying. I will shut myself off first. I'm not seeking out news from the Gulf Coast because I don't want to see it. My heart aches for those who are hurt, who are missing, who's lives have been ripped to pieces. but I don't want to see it.

On the way home from Ut this past weekend we drove past a wreck. There was a full sized semi laying on it's side and then behind it this compact car without a back end. it was gone. just not there. they cut the doors off the front and I could see the air bag inflated in front of the steering wheel. The trailer was smashed and there were brown boxes leaking out the cracks in the twisted metal. We drove past this at 70 mph. I could hardly breathe.

This image replays in my mind at odd times and my chest literally aches thinking about the possibility of someone being in that back seat. I don't want more awful images in my head. I guess that means I'm shallow, but it's how I deal.

Taking my Own Challenge

A page I did at my friend Kristy's house Friday night. I intend to keep telling the difficult parts, but only once in a while. This page is pretty personal, so i doubt I will even post it in any online galleries much less submit it for publication.

just like all the rest

My baby is screaming right now. why is she screaming? because the book was too short. yes, the book. She crawled to me carrying The Monster at the End of This Book in one hand, crawled up on my lap and handed it to me. I read it to her with all the right voice inflections and she laughed and laughed. Then when it was over, she stared at the back cover in shock. How could it be over? I read her another one. She ran out of handy books and now she's screaming. She wants more books. More reading. She can't get enough. my one year old will sit quietly and patiently for at least five books.

The other day, she got a birthday card from my grandparents. I had to make up a story to go with it because she thought it was a book and sat down on my lap ready for one. She was mad it was so short, so I had to tell the story three times. Grandpa's cards have never gotten so much love.

Yup. just like the other four. Can you tell they are my kids?

Been tagged

Becky tagged me in the latest game of blogging memes. I have to describe five weird traits. I'm thinking hard, because you all know I'm just the most normal person in the universe. ;)

1. I can't stand having people stand behind me. my comfort space extends at least twice as far behind me as it does in front. it's especially bad if they are trying to read over my shoulder. ugh.

2. colored things must go in rainbow order. we have rainbow plates and they must be stacked in the cupboard and in the dishdrainer in proper order. M&M's are eaten in order (brown goes next to red.) it's all I can do to not rearrange the crayon boxes.

3. I dont' like pencils. I will do math with a pen in order to avoid pencils. they are scratchy.

4. when I say something makes my teeth itch, it really does. I get a weird crawling sensation on my teeth when I touch certain textures. cotton balls, velour (but not velvet), flat wall paint, etc.

5. I like fresh new roads. I do not like fresh gravel.

ok, enough about me. I'm tagging Jess. ;) I promise this is the one and only time I will tag you though, so you can keep reading my blog, k?

School Girl

Rilla started school yesterday. As we got to the sidewalk in front of the school, she asked her daddy if she could ride on his shoulders. So he lifted her up and she sat there with a big grin on her face and began to sing: "I'm going to school, I'm going to school." When I heard that, I knew that she would be just fine.

The Big Reveal

Well, I spent quite a bit less than Trading Spaces would have, and it was my own money, but I didn't have to put up with Hilde, so I think I did all right. We got the couch yesterday and the rug showed up this afternoon. I still have to finish my curtains for the second window and paint and hang my picture shelves, but the main part is done. I am thinking I can live with the tablecloth until the perfect thing comes along, which is a relief. it's hard to find fabric in a print in green red and yellow that doesn't have Christmas trees on it. I will be finding a new fabric for my chair cushions asap. (maybe even this weekend) but here you are, my new livingroom. I'm a happy, happy girl. :)

Here's the couch and rug:

Here's the new entertainment center we bought in July. It came in a box but it's a huge improvement over what we had. (please ignore the uuuuuuugly speakers. I'll be buying my dh a new sound system for Christmas I think just to get rid of those, lol!) When we finish the basement, these will go downstairs to the family room and that wall will get a new doorway.

This is the wall grouping that started the redecorating itch ;)

When Mama Sets the Schedule . . .

Standing in my mother's kitchen, I picked up baby. She smelled like she had a problem.
"oh look you made a present for Daddy! Let's go find him."

I carry her into the livingroom, expecting to see Steve on the couch. No Steve. but wait! there's a flash of moving curtain to the left. I inspect it. There is the top of my husband's head peeking out from behind the chair. He was on the floor cowering from that poopy diaper.

"It looks like he heard me." I gasp out and then I actually collapsed to the floor laughing.

He still had to change the poopy.

Anatomy of a Pirate

"mommy listen to my story"

Matt has reached the point where he wants to narrate his play for me. He's so cute about it. Everything is a story. Yesterday at the pool, he pretended to be different kinds of fish.

"I'm a hugging fish. I'm going to hug you."

Then he was a twirling fish, and a kissing fish, and a jumping fish, and a bird fish, just about any kind of fish a three year old boy could imagine. And of course, he was a shark. He chased around the kiddie pool "I'm a shark! I'm going to bite you!"

Libby thought he was quite funny until he tried to sit on my lap. Then demon baby came out. Aparantly, my lap belongs exclusively to her. She was yelling and growling and pushing on him until I could get him shifted somewhere else. It seems she's jealous now of me. Silly girl, she's number five. She's always got to share.

oh and yes, I got a sunburn. ouch.

routines are changing

School starts in four days. All three of my school aged kids are very excited. They have their backpacks packed with their supplies and they are registered and ready to go.

This will be Marilla's first year. she's so excited and so ready. when they did their evaluation for Kindergarten she got an almost perfect score. (she didn't skip and she didn't know where her knuckle was.) She loves that her classroom has toys in it. She's so close to reading but not quite there yet. I'm fighting mommy guilt over this of course. She should have been reading by now if I had spent the time with her that I spent with the other two, maybe not at three, but definately by five. I just didn't ever read to her as much as I read to them. and it's not like she never asks.

I only have a few more days of everyone at home. No I'm not that sad about this. It has been fun to have them all playing together, but I'm ready for our school routines to start again. They are ready to get some time away from each other. The bickering just ruins any chance of me accomplishing to do list item number seven.

we are going school shopping tomorrow with my sister Cathy (hi Cathy!) It's been a tradition since Sarah's first year and we all love it. we spend the day at the mall and then go have dinner together. It should be a fun day.

The Redecorating is really taking hold

I've put off decorating so long that now that I"m starting to do something about it, I'm a bit obsessed. Take for example my purchase this evening of this area rug:
I was browsing Pottery Barn's clearance section (which is the only section that even comes close to having something I can afford) when I ran across it. I had run it by Steve and entered my credit card number inside of ten minutes. it's a fantastic buy and will be perfect with my red couch and green walls.

All along I always said I was waiting to decorate until I could do what I really wanted. Deep down I felt that was just an excuse and I didn't believe I would ever get something I was happy with. The whole Pottery Barn taste, Walmart budget thing. I just get giddy when I see the way my livingroom is coming together. One of these days I should post a pic of my bedroom too. it's about as close to done as the living room. I'm loving it too. All soft golds and browns, very calm and relaxing but not cold.

yea me. happy dance and all that stuff. :)

I Hope You Break a Leg

I've noticed a trend lately in scrapbookers getting discouraged about their motherhood skills. From the blogs I've read, they feel as if they are the only ones who get mad, who have kids who do stuff that gets mommy mad, who don't have perfectly clean houses, who don't change the sheets and wash the car once a week.

I blame internet scrapbook galleries for this.

I Hope You Dance, Dream Big, You Inspire Me. Pages of angels who behave perfectly and even the few times they do mess up their mommies laugh and take pictures and post how cute they are instead of actually getting mad about it. So we read this journaling and we start to think that this is normal life. That the world is populated with everyone else's baby darlings and your holy terrors. It's easy to assume that you are the only one with a messy house buying McDonald's food and neglecting the bedding when all you read is stories from Rose-Colored-Glasses Land. You start to think it's abnormal to be angry when your child cuts her own hair the night before your brother's wedding.

Now, I'm not advocating that scrapbookers all turn cynical and negative and dwell on the embarrassing and bad parts of motherhood. Just that we be a bit more rounded in our renditions. The internet galleries can make us all a bit too aware of our broader audience. It's easy to get caught up in writing our journaling for everyone else. Saying what we think we should say instead of what we really want to say or what we really feel.

Journaling should be more personal than that. It should be written for you and your family. You shouldn't do a page about how much you love your family because Rebecca Sower says you should. You should do it because at that moment when you look at that picture that's what you feel. What's wrong with a page that says "do you remember how mad I got when you did that?" If we are writing our family's history, shouldn't it be the real history?

Disclaimer: No, I don't really believe that hanging out on scrapbook galleries is making all scrapbookers need Zoloft. I do think I have seen a few too many "Angel" pages. I did intend for this to be funny, but that's not how it came out this morning.

Commenting

I am loving Blogger. i love that it's free. i love how i can customize my blog any way i want. what i don't love is how dumb i feel about the comments. all i want to do is be able to e-mail people responses to their comments. i just can't figure out how to do that. i would like to comment back to you guys, so please be patient with me. i'm not ignoring the comments. i read them all and i enjoy your responses to what i write. thanks.

btw, what do you think of my new side bar addition? i lifted the code (with permission) from Helena. her cast of characters was too fun to leave alone.

Number Seven

This is my list of things I need to get done today:

1. dishes
2. laundry
3. clean house
4. paint shelves
5. poly the stair railing (second coat)
6. sew curtains
7. try not to go insane

numbers 1, 2, 3 and 7 are on the list every day. I don't always get number seven done.

Sing with me now . . .

I got a new couch, I got a new couch, I got a new couch. !!!!! it's the first brand new couch I have ever, ever owned. heck it's the first time I've bought real furniture (besides our matress set.) Real as in does not come with a set of instructions in a cardboard box. I am in love with it. Ok, picture this with sage green walls, khaki tab top curtains with cream banding, a cream entertainment center and black picture frames with black and white photos around the room:

This is not my home (I wish) it's the picture from the store website. I just got the couch. there's no space in my house for the whole set. I love it though. I have to wait three weeks to get it, but I'll post pictures of my cute new space when it comes in.

Random Tuesday

I have a lot percolating through my brain today, but I didn't want to do seperate entries, therefore, I will be random and squish them all into one.

Potty training was successful yesterday. Matt wore pants all day and they were same pair from the first to bedtime. Isn't it funny how it goes like that? They just don't get it and it feels like you will have to homeschool your child through eighth grade just so they don't have the embarrassment of wetting their pants in front of the whole school and then all at once, they do. it's like a little potty training switch. anyway. he's already in pants this morning and I hope to do as well today as we did yesterday.

I have packages to mail today. a big pile of them. This means I have to drag five kids to the post office. Pray for me.

My oldest has been gone for a week. we missed her. the baby was so excited to see her last night and this morning. it was adorable. What is not adorable was how the oldest two were fighting before 8:30. sigh. when does school start again?

I think we have started the weaning process. We are down to two to three meals a day. I thought Libby would be on the whole eat all day thing until she was two. She doesnt' even seem to miss me that much. I guess it's part of her growing up. I never thought I would feel so sad about weaning. I am grateful I got this chance to nurse my last baby. I looked at her sleeping last night and she looked so big. She was so long and her face looked older and all of the sudden I missed my baby. How dare she grow up! She's supposed to be my baby forever. I understand now why every mother the world over spoils the last baby. How can you not? they have your heart all tied up and held for ransom.

The stair project

We bought this house to be a project. We went in with eyes wide open ready and willing to do the work. We used to have a big hole in the backyard. heck, the back yard was almost all hole. (dig out from the basement additon that was never backfilled. We got that filled in. We put grass in the back yard.

But that was outside. On the inside, we still had a lot to do. everything always involved the phrase "but first we need to move the stairs." yes, move. A whole three feet to the north. The old stairs were put in with no regard to how it would affect the basement layout. It ended up cutting a 10ft section into three pieces so no section was big enough for anything. And they had a 5'5" clearance at one section, and there were three stairs that were different heights than the rest. everybody tripped on the last one. In short, they needed redone.

They are almost done. It took Steve several weekends to get them in. Its' been a lot of work, but man is it worth it. The placement even feels more logical upstairs, not to mention the new storage/utility room we've gained in the basement. We went from one of those half wall things as a railing (a leaning half wall. it's never been plumb or very secure. Like the tower in Pisa, it just kept leaning more as the years went by) to a beautiful oak railing. It's lovely. Man it was a lot of work. 18 hours worth of work. It's stained now, but doesnt have a polyurathane coat yet. we'll be doing that tomorrow.

Here's the new railing:

The Importance of Pants

Matt is still potty training. I took a break from it when I decided that if I had to drag him screaming to the bathroom, we probably weren't going to be very successful. So we had a lovely break where he wore pullups like diapers and I tried to avoid letting anyone know that my 3 1/2 year old was actually not potty trained.

We're back and he's still hard to get into the bathroom. He still hates the idea of it. He likes diapers. Diapers are convient. You never have to think about them. You never have to stop to take a potty break. Someone else takes care of you when you have a diaper. he's past the point where mommy's praise is all he needs. He doesn't seek it like a two year old does. I often wish I could have been possible to train him last summer. But I think about my eight month pregnant belly and a boy who couldn't speak clearly, and I know that we had to wait.

Matt's a tough nut so I had to come up with a unique way to crack him. Chocolate as a reward doesn't work, because mommy eats it all. Praise doesn't work very well with him either. So mommy has resorted to rewarding with pants. yes, Pants. We start the day in just underwear. If he goes potty, he gets pants. He doesn't get to play outside without them, so it's a pretty decent incentive. Not that he's actually making any progress. He's earned pants maybe twice this week. I can't keep up on the laundry. I've resorted to stealing underwear from his brother's drawer just to keep up. I think my worst nightmare is trying to train a child forever. Days of wet and soiled underwear stretch on into infinity and never, ever end.

So yesterday I had to use the bathroom while he was trying to use his potty chair.

"Mommy, are you going potty?"

"yes, I am."

"Do you get pants?"

Yes, Matt. Luckily, as a no longer pregnant mother who must fear sneezes, yes, I get pants.

My Friend Anne

well, she's not really my friend, but I would hope that if she were real she would think of me as a "kindred spirit." I met her when I was 10. Mom bought Anne of Green Gables and my sisters and mom and I all took turns reading it. we passed it around and giggled together about green hair and Gilbert. over the next couple of months we searched every bookstore we went to for the next book in the series. I think I was 14 when I we finally finished collecting all eight. Anne was part of my akward teenage years. I think she helped ground me.

now the first time through, it was hard to read the middle books. 12 year old girls really don't have as much connection with the grown up Anne. Once they got back to Anne's children, I was back in the swing, loving it all. Strong good Jem, wise Walter, silly, vain Rilla. I loved all their adventures.

Over the years, I've gone back and reread the books. I always forget about Davy and Dora until I'm reading Anne of Avonlea again. I always get mad at Anne for telling Gilbert no the first time he asks in Anne of the Island. Silly girl, everyone else knows, how can she not know?! I always read quickly through Anne of Windy Poplars because it's my least favorite (I only read it for the sake of Little Elizabeth and Rebecca Dew.) I always cry for poor Joyce in House of Dreams. Oh but the tears I shed in Rilla of Ingleside! The first time I read that book I knew I had to name one of my girls Marilla. I had to.

I'm rereading them again. Right now I'm skimming quickly through Windy Poplars, enjoying more this time that previous reads. i think because Im getting older. The older I get the more I understand the older Anne. Sure she's only 23 at the end of the book, but she's still dealing with adult problems. She's still Anne. there are days when I wish I could climb up the little steps to her big bed and sit in her tower room while the wind blows and share confidences with her. her little stove would be lit and Rebecca Dew would check to be sure we were comfortable. I would bring her a nice pen nib so she could have one that wasn't scratchy or dull.

I used to imagine a lot as a little girl. I haven't done that much as an adult, not much more than seeing things in corners in the middle of the night. Anne reminds me that imagination is for imagining beautiful things. For dreaming, for hoping.

Have you met my friend Anne? you really should.

yes, it's really Bedlam

that banner is huge. I'll probably change it in a few days so I don't overwhelm too much. I did want to post that picture though. It's so quintescentially Joshua. It's my life. I don't often talk about how crazy my kids are on my blog but believe me they are nuts.

Take last thursday as a fine example. The baby is (still) sick, so we aren't doing much of anything. we stay home and the kids are getting stir crazy. by the end of the day, I had had enough and sent them all outside to play even though it was very hot. I was a nice mommy and said they could play in the sprinkler. So they go get soaking wet and try to come back in. I said no. They switch the sprinker head for a spray nozzle and get each other even more wet and try to come back in. I said no. They proceed to turn the front flower bead (sans flowers, we're still working on it. I guess you could call it the front dirt bed) into mud pies. then, you guessed it, they wanted to come back inside. I made them all go play in the back yard after this. five minutes later, Bubba is back in the house bawling because his brother hit him in the face with a bat. yes, a bat. Joshua didn't mean to hit Matty, he was actually trying to hit himself. yes. himself. don't ask. I didn't. I couldn't bring myself to so I have no clue why a seven year old would want to hit himself in the head with a bat.

This is a normal day at my house. This is why I call it Bedlam. fits doesn't it?

guess what?

Libby took four steps last night. :)

my town is stupid

so you remember my beautiful perfect road? the one I gushed over? the one I was willing to carry 30lbs of books and herd five kids for? yeah. that one. the one that is no more.

They gravelled it this morning. laid the tar and then a horribly uneven bed of loose gravel over it. there are piles where they laid out too much and holes where people have already ruined the surface with their tires. It's yucky. Oh I'm sure they could show me how this nasty gravel bed is supposed to make our lovely blacktop last longer. personally, i think the windshield replacement guys have been bribing the city council.

yet once again, I live on a stinky road. sadly it will take years for it to smooth out. we really don't get enough traffic to press it flat enough.

sigh. I never did get out my roller blades, either.

(see you didn't know I had roller blades did you? I'm not that predictable. People can now say "Amy had roller blades ? . . . . huh."*)

*please excuse my lousy Friends reference. we just started Netflix and we're starting at the begining.

more ooohing and aaaaahing

I am up late playing with pictures. thought I would post my favorites from this evening. don't you wish you had eyelashes like that?
true baby style, she eats everything. that's my lens cap. well, my only lens cap. I seem to lose them pretty easily. gotta love her dimples in her fingers. makes me want to do that "Sqeee!" thing that only women can do when they see a baby.
and that is the face I love. sigh. what a cutie.

all photos taken with my Rebel XT and 50mm lens. 400ISO, f-1.8, around 60 shutter. (I was in AV mode. it varried a bit) the sepia tone was done in camera in the BW parameter with sepia toning. red filter effect.

Who Needs Typepad

Not me! ok, so it would have been a heck of a lot easier at Typepad, but I got myself a custom banner. Pretty snazzy huh? Thanks to a link to Lindsay Teague's blog, I can now change my banner anytime I want. Once you get the coding set up it's a pretty easy change. And since I was already messing with my coding, I added some links on the side just for fun. One of these days I'll figure out how to do the cool links to music or books like Lindsay has, but today is not that day. I can get the hyperlink for the webpage for the book, but my book image comes up as a litte red x. I will have to play more with that. The coding that I stole off Linsay's blog was very long and complex.

anyway, you may all oooh and aaaah over my cute baby now. 1 . . . 2 . . . 3 . . . now! aaaaaahhh!

Summer all summed up

Nine o'clock is my favorite time in the summer. Dusk is starting to settle in and the heat is disapating. And my children are usually in bed. This is the time that Steve likes to mow the lawn.

I love watching him too. He loves the puttering around in the yard stuff. He even likes to mow. When the house is mostly quiet and i can hear the hum of the mower out the window, I feel compeled to go out and see him. He looks so content, with his routine, up and down the yard a slow march behind the mower. The air feels good after a day of scorching heat and the summer smell of fresh cut grass permeates everything.

Summer isn't my favorite time of year, but in these moments I can apreciate it for itself. a time to unwind and let the world pass. A time to let go of the day to day and find the moments that define your life.

Ten Years

That's how old she is. Ten years ago I was laying in an old hospital bed holding a sleeping baby. My first baby. I had a pillow over my stomach to protect my incision and I was desprately trying to figure out the nursing thing. (I didn't get it figured out with her. my milk went away less than six days later.) She was so beautiful though. dark brown hair. opaque blue eyes that I was sure were going to stay blue and everyone else knew they weren't. Her blue eyes didn't last two weeks. She was so tiny and her cries sounded like the mewing of a kitten, tiny and squeeky.

We've had fun with her. She's always been intelligent and curious. She could recognize a letter as a letter before she was ten months old. She could distinguish the A and the E when she was a year, name all the letters at 16 months, and read before she was 3 1/2. She reads so well now that she's had a hard time finding books at the school library. There are shelves and shelves of books she's not allowed to read because they are too far under her reading level. She read the entire Narnia series in first grade. Read Harry Potter 1-4 in second grade. She spends hours everyday reading. Reading the same books over and over or devouring a new one. I love that I've been able to share my love for fantasty books with her. And she likes Anne of Green Gables too. how cool is that?

She's a great big sister and always wanting to help with the baby. She and Joshua fight like cats and dogs but she almost never fights with Rilla or Matt. she's pretty even tempered and is sensitive to other people's feelings.

I'm glad she's my girl. Happy Birthday, Sarah.

messing with Macro

I have a macro setting on two of my lenses. I don't use it on my short lens much because it's mostly worthless. I do, however, like to play with the macro on my long lens. it's not a true Macro, only a 1:2 ratio and I have to stand back 2 1/2 feet from my subject, but it's fun to play. Fun to see things in new ways and cut out the background. Macro intensifies your focus on the world.

Look! I can scrap after all

it's been months, but i finally managed to scrap again. for awhile, i wasn't sure the desire would ever come back. i like this one though. it looks just like it did in my head and anyone who scraps knows just how rare that is.

I read too Fast

I'm done. I waited two years for the book and I'm done already. I had it in my hands on Saturday and I was done by that evening. I shouldn't be surprised. That's how I eat chocolate. I don't savor; I devour.

Yes, I'm talking about Harry Potter. I discovered the series right before book 2 came out. before my almost ten year old was even born. I love Harry Potter books. they are fun escapism. I'm glad that my daughter is now old enough to share the excitement with me. She devours the books too. She's read them more than I have.

We even went to a release party with my sister and her daughter. My sister is a big enough fan that she posts on a message board for HP fans. We walked to the store and on the way home she read the first chapter outloud while the three of us listened in and the girls kept trying to read over her shoulder. We have plans to attend a release party for book seven together. There's a huge store in Portland I want to be at for that one.

guess he had better go eat worms . . .

poor matt. He has an imaginary friend named Nanngy. (aprox. spelling based on his pronunciation.) today he brought me the phone and said with a very sad look on his face, "Nanngy won't talk to me."

even his imaginary friend won't talk to him. poor guy. it doesn't get much more pathetic than that.

Sunset at the beach

two vacations in one year?

We went to a family reunion on the Washington Coast. we stayed at the Cape Disappointment state park. They have yurts. (http://www.yurts.com/) yurts are cool. unfortunately, since my parents were paying and there weren't enough beds, my family had to stay in a tent. Tents are 80% of why I hate camping. Sleeping bags are the other 20%. anyway, it was a beautiful area. we were right next to the ocean. the crash of the waves lulled me to sleep every night. The wind was too cold to spend much time in the water, though. Amazingly enough, the Washington coast reminded me of Hawaii more than California did. California didn't smell right. It didn't feel right. The beach we were on somehow reminded me of Bikini Beach in November. it was nice. I could close my eyes and be there again.

(sorry about the funky coding. I have no idea why this is underlined or how to get rid of it. yes I did the whole control u thing. )

Here's some highlights:

this is the North Point lighthouse. we got to go up to the top. the view was amazing. The wind was something else though. this lighthouse and the cape disapointment lighthouse are both still working lighthouses.









here's the lighthouse at sunset. the picture is a bit dark, but I didn't have my tripod. I guess there was a guy from a magazine out taking pics that same night, so we picked a good night to watch sunset at the beach. I have better sunset pics. I'll post some in a seperate entry.



crossing the Astoria bridge. it's three miles long and the big arch thing you see in all the pictures is only 1/4 of it. the rest is flat and much closer to the river.








Star fish. we saw quite a few in the tide pools at the bottom of the cliffs. This particular one was having a good time trying to eat a crab. I'm sure it succeeded. the crab was already dead. The black shells are hundreds of muscles (that's what I was told anyway.) we did see living crabs. Steve kept catching one and releasing it in the tide pool so we could watch it bury itself.

all in all it was a good trip.

Update on my balding son

I took Matt to the dr. yesterday. She checked him out and was not at all concerned. it seems that hair loss is somewhat common in young kids. basically, when it only happens once, you dont' worry that much. She gave me a steroid cream and I'm supposed to use it twice a day until the hair grows back. no big deal and I don't have to feel guilty about matt's eating habits making him go bald at three. isnt' that nice?

my addiction

I can't help myself.  I love making annimated GIF files.  I made my son dance, , my husband shake his head, my baby jump and here she is clapping her hands.  I take pictures just to annimate them.  must be my old fantasy about being a Disney annimator squeezing out.  

oh, and that's not dirt on her cheek.  She's reached the black and blue stage of her babyhood.  you know, when they first start pulling themselves up on furniture and they fall over and bonk their faces.  poor girl.  She'll probably be like her siblings and spend the next ten years of her life with a bruise somewhere on her body. 

Every Morning

This is what I wake up with. Every morning, Libby wakes up at 6:30. I don't wake up at 6:30. I manage to sleep walk myself to the girls' room and get her out of her crib and bring her back to bed with me. She eats and we snuggle. Eventually, I'll convince myself that the kids really shouldn't be left unattended and I'll crawl out of bed (can you tell I'm not a morning person?) Libby will often still be asleep when I get up so I surround her with pillows and the comforter. She looks so sweet sleeping there I can't bring myself to wake her up. Usually, the sounds of Steve and I getting ready for the day will penetrate into her dreams and she will begin to stir. She stretches and wiggles and rolls onto her back. Then her little eyes start to peek open. They flutter closed a few times and then they pop open and she looks around for me. Then she smiles. I pick her up and we go start our day

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