Monday, January 08, 2007

Murphy's Law, the pantyhose corrollary

Murphy's Law, as everyone knows, dictates that anything that can go wrong will. A bit of a pessimistic statement, but since I'm a bit of a pessimist, I find Murphy's Law active in my life quite often.

There is a little known corollary to this law that basically rules my life. The Pantyhose Corollary states: If you buy pantyhose you hate, itchy, too small, too big, etc. they will last until Armageddon. If you buy pantyhose you love, smooth, fit perfect, look lovely, etc. they will get a run/hole/massive snag within the first two hours of you putting them on thus rendering them completely useless for a second wearing. This is why women complain all the time about nylons. The good ones do exist. We just never get to wear them long enough to remember that they exist.

I have stopped wearing pantyhose because I really didn't want to spend $20 a month replacing them every week or wear yucky ones. (I only wear skirts on Sundays.) I thought this would negate this law. Not so. Murphy found other ways to apply this one to my daily life.

For example: I was given a 2 cup plastic measuring cup as part of a set in a wedding gift. It was inaccurate and didn't have 1/3 cup markings. I hated it. I stuck it out because it did actually hold liquid and managed to be somewhat useful even if it didn’t quite measure right. Being as how it was somewhat flexible plastic and I don't own a dishwasher to wear off the markings, it lasted like a tank. Waiting until it wore out to replace it, like any good little Scrooge should do, was not making me happy, so I bought a new 2 cup measuring cup. I bought a Pyrex one so it would stack with my 1 cup measuring cup and I knew it measures accurately and should last well. HA!

I dropped it 2 weeks after I bought it and it shattered all over my kitchen floor. I have yet to buy a new one because I'll buy the same thing and I do not want to clean up glass this week.

If I hate something it will be part of my life forever. If I like it, I have to appreciate it quickly because it will last as long as the cookies in the cookie jar. (Which is also new and I like, so I expect someone to drop it before February.)

Murphy: teaching practicality and acceptance to housewives since 2000BC.


Kristi said...

Amy- the pantyhose thing is SOOO true! The sad thing is that it even my 4 year old has the same thing happen to her. Sunday she had a huge run/hole the size of the Grand Canyon just above her knee. Troy bought the tights Dec. 23rd.

The same always happens to me if I splurge for new clothes as opposed to thrift store clothes.

Shaunte Wadley said...

It's all so true...sigh...