I love to look at magazines. I especially love the ones like Better Homes and Gardens and Martha Stewart with their lovely picture perfect homes. I love the dinner party ideas with decorations and themes and great food. I always wanted to have a real dinner party with friends. I wanted them to show up dressed up and eat under candle light. I've wanted this for years.
Tonight I finally did it.
I served dinner to ten of my very best friends. We sat twelve at two tables pushed together. I always said my house was too small for parties but it fit us all just fine with the couch taken out of the living room. I made table clothes and napkins. I decorated with gourds and silk leaves and cute little acorns. I cooked all day and served, to be completely immodest, a very good four course dinner.
I had a moment when we sat down to eat, everyone paused just before the prayer, where I felt overwhelmingly grateful for the chance to be together as friends. I admit I teared up just a little. It felt so good to finally follow through.
There's something I've learned from my friends this year. It's something I thought I had learned back in college, to be honest. Just do it. You want to do something? You want to go somewhere? Just do it. We've had a great year with lots of socializing with lots of people. When my friends say "we need a girls' night." We all say "how's Saturday for you?" and it happens.
I love that.
I can be a very passive person. It has been a great lesson for me to break out of my shell and really actively pursue friendships and a social life. I've been a lot happier.
Two of our friends who sat at that table with us are moving shortly. We'll never again all sit around a table together. I can almost kick myself for not having a party sooner so this wouldn't have been the first party; it would have been the third or the fourth or whatever. I won't let time pass me by again.
I'm tired. My feet hurt. I never want to look at chicken cordon bleu again. I don't care because it was all worth it. I followed through and it was everything I hoped it would be.