Monday, April 17, 2006

For the Love of a Skirt: a comedy of errors

Once upon a time there was a skirt. She stood in the store window tempting the passers by. She was a magic skirt. She could make women stop in their tracks and lose the ability to speak and become single minded in the persuit of her.

I was enchanted by that skirt. I thought about her often and thought of how I couldn't have her because mean old Ann Taylor wanted $100 for her and I can't spend that much on one skirt, even if it's the most fabulous skirt ever made. So I decided to copy it and make myself a skirt exactly like her.

It's at this point that I began to realize that the Beautiful Skirt was evil. You would have thought that I would have had some idea before this, what with the enchantment of a one track mind and imposed covetousness, but no. I missed it. Yes, Beautiful Skirt was angry that I would attempt to copy her fabulousness, especially with cheap JoAnn's fabric. (ok, it was expensive fabric for JoAnn's , but that's not saying much.) I made a trip to JoAnn's to buy the fabric. I was also buying fabric for a skirt for my daughter and I found a cute print for a second skirt for myself. The first indication of the curse that was on this project was when I had finally chosen everything, I looked at the clock and I had to leave my mother with an armload of fabric because I had to leave right that minute or my kids would be home from school before I got there. She bought the fabric for my daughter's skirt but I had to go back to get the fabric for Beautiful Skirt's Imposter.

I went back and of course I forgot my 40% off coupon, thus costing myself $6.

The Evil Skirt expanded her curse to all my projects as I prepared to sew. I washed the fabric that could be washed. Then I tried to cut out Sarah's skirt. Tried. The fabric had shrunk and I no longer had enough no matter what I tried. I slipped into denial as I manuvered printed tissue all over the fabric. There had to be some way. Oh, Beautiful Skirt was evil. Sarah's skirt was supposed to be her Easter present and, me being me, I had started this project with less than a week to go. I gave up on the first piece of fabric and had to make an evening run to JoAnn's to buy a second piece. I chose to get what I thought would be just enough to finish cutting out the skirt if I used the first piece as well. I brought that home and washed it. Then I discovered that I had bought the wrong color of lavendar linen. oh yes, I did. Luckily I slipped under the curse by managing to squeeze the whole skirt onto the second piece. The curse on that skirt was mostly broken at that point, but Evil Skirt wasn't done with me yet.

So I went to cut out my other two skirts. The lovely Imposter and the kicky print. I didn't have enough fabric for the contrast fabric on the Imposter. yes. Another trip to JoAnn's. Did I mention that JoAnn's is a 15-20 minute drive from my house? I went to cut out the kicky print. a cute tropical red and white print that was supposed to be made into a slightly longer than knee length number with inverted pleats all the way around with a lining to add body. Only I didn't have enough fabric. This time I was six inches short. There is no way to adjust the pattern. I'll have to use a different one, so there will be no fashionable, kicky inverted pleat skirt for me.

I persevered through the bramble forest, my mind focused on achieving the castle and wearing a fantastic skirt to the ball. Evil Skirt pushed onward with her curse. Causing much ripping of seams as I made more mistakes on one piece than I have made since I was twelve, including the oh so fun ripping of a seam at least two yards long. But I did it. I broke through the curse at one thirty Sunday morning. The skirt was done.

I proudly wore it on Sunday, a visual display of my victory over evil.

The moral of this story is of course, if you see the perfect skirt in the window of a store, do not attempt to sew a copy. Just buy the darn thing and save yourself the torture.


Holly said...

Do we get to see a picture of the skirts?! ;o)

Don the Younger said...

ummm, I'm a guys, don't know about the costs of things like patterns and fabrics. But I do know what gasoline and time costs.

It does sound like you came close to $100 there ;)

Carin said...

Amy this is exactly why I stick to quilts an gave up on sewing clothes :)

Mom said...

You forgot to tell me it that all of the problems were because of "evil skirt".