Sunday, December 18, 2005

Defeated by plastic

I consider myself a pretty technologically advanced individual. I've watched my share of Star Trek. I don't hesitate to try a new program on my computer. I didn't even think twice about buying a digital camera. Heck, I've even been known to set the clock on my VCR.

However, there is one little piece of electronics that is making me look bad. Every time I go to run the thing I can't remember what to do. Maybe it's because I only think about it at six am in the dark. Stupid alarm clock.

It's got two alarms. One of which my husband set for the insane hour of six am and the other set for a more reasonable seven. It's his own little one hour snooze button. Every morning, the darn thing wakes me out of a deep sleep an hour earlier than I want to get up. Most of the time, Steve takes care of it. However, sometimes he doesn't even flinch from my kicks to his legs and I have to get up and turn the darn thing off. Frankly, I'd rather leave it going than get out of my bed. I have a down comforter and a down pillow and the last thing I want to do on a cold December morning is drag myself out of bed to figure out where the right button is to turn it off.

I'll fall out of bed and blearily stumble across the room (strategically placed to keep us from using such trickery as two alarms and snooze buttons.) Our current clock is a bare bones model. tall and narrow and nothing like any clock we've ever owned. My first alarm clock is the sort of alarm clock that dominated the market for years. a flat rectangle with lots of nicely labeled buttons that were easy to figure out because the thing lasted for 17 years, literally. I could have still run the thing if I had gone blind. Which is very usful at six am, because I am somewhat lacking in physical dexterity and mental acumen at that hour.

(btw, if you ever think it would be cool to get your daughter an alarm clock for Christmas, don't. Seriously. Even if you think she needs one. She won't thank you. And the only joy she'll get from the darn thing is being able to lord it over her sister that she gets to decide when it gets turned on because it's her Christmas present. And it's totally not cool for her to have to tell her friends she got an alarm clock for Christmas. Even if you do buy one that's built like a tank and will last for 17 years.)

Our current alarm clock is nothing like the previous tank model. It has switches. Lots of them. And they all look the same. Or I should say, feel the same, because, as I've said, I never look at the darn thing and only deal with it at six am. Since I never look at it, when I'm facing it with my brain on 10% power and my fingers still asleep, it's imposible to work.

But you don't need to feel sorry for me. I have figured out a solution. I stay in bed and just kick harder if Steve doesn't get up the first time.

PS. Mom, you know I love you. I love just about every other present you've ever gotten me. Really. Can I still come for Christmas?


Mom said...

Did I give you the tank model? I don't remember. Anyway, the Christmas shopping is done for this year, so no worries. :)

THM said...

Amy, it's not your fault. It's the clock, or rather the designers of the clock. They made a bad alarm clock. A good alarm clock would be easy to operate at 6am with bleary eyes and a foggy brain.

Cathy said...

If you were a true Star Trek fan you would be able to spell it correctly. :)

Amy B. said...

see, I don't function well when I'm tired. ;)

editted it so I don't embarass myself further.

Karen said...

I read about an alarm clock (prototype) that won a college award. It rolls around the room like one of those automatic vacuum cleaners. It beeps, then runs! You have to search the room to find it and turn it off! Now THAT would be worse, no? Too bad your mom's finished with her shopping! ha ha. I wish you rest.